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Steve Key: Songs/Lyrics

How I Learned to Drink

(Charlie Kleeman)

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HOW I LEARNED TO DRINK
©2010 by Steve Key, Charlie Kleemann & Aaron Nathans

Billy got the bright idea
To hitchhike to the nearest town
Ask some guy to buy us wine
Be back in camp before sundown

We missed the dinner call
The counselor sure was mean
The bounty in our paper bag
Tasted like kool-aid and kerosene

CH The night was colder than shame
The moon was hazy grey and pink
I was a lonely twelve year old kid
And that's how I learned to drink

I spat out my first tequila shot
Split a beer with my girlfriend under a bridge
Jolted by the gin I tried at midnight
From my grandpa's rec room fridge

Bluffed my way into San Jose State
Billy and I pledged Alpha Chi
Beer pong and jello shooters
Tasted like Tang and turpentine (to chorus)

Years passed by with a whiskey
Kept in a drawer with my secret life
When I woke up in a hospital bed
My old friend was standing by

Billy got the bright idea
To send me back to summer camp
The name and program changed a bit
Now they call it rehab ranch

So here I am for 28 days
Those counselors sure get mean
I'm drinking coffee by the quart
Tastes like river mud and livin' clean (to chorus)